I’ve been wanting to write this kind of blog post for a while, I wasn’t sure about it. But today I watched Zoë’s vlog, she talked about negativity, mostly online and how much better it is to be positive which inspired me even more to actually start writing this.
I’m not the best at putting what I feel or think into words but I’ll try my very best right now because I really feel like this is one of the main things causing problems and unhappiness in our society. The thing I feel like is missing is positivity. Whether that’s optimism, being kind or just positive things happening; there’s something missing from all 3 of those. To me, changing yourself is what you have to start with, because I think we all know about the horrible things happening in the world right now and being a little more positive and kind is the least you can do. And maybe, hopefully, one day it will finally end or at least reduce. But today I wanted to write about individuals, so that’s what I’m going to switch to right now, starting with myself.
I used to be SO negative. I wasn’t the ‘unkind negative’ but the ‘pessimistic negative’ if you know what I mean. Probably the most pessimistic person I knew back then, about 2 years ago. My thoughts are super positive now and I always try to be optimistic, my mindset is very different now, I see the world differently. And trust me, the world is so much more beautiful. When I look around me these days, I can’t help but wish some people kind of had the same perspective. I think I have this at least once a week. Now I know how hard people must’ve found it to be around me sometimes.
I said sorry too much, always put myself down, didn’t really accept compliments, never seemed to find courage. Now that I’m a whole other person, I know how much I want others not to do that. It’s so bad for you and it only makes you fall further. I know that it’s hard to love yourself because it sounds like your self-esteem is way too high. But loving yourself just means taking good care of yourself, whether that’s mentally or psychically. And that’s something you all need to do, you only get one body, one mind, one life. You should give it all the love it deserves. Don’t wait for someone to adore you or compliment you every day, in the end you’ve only got yourself. Just do what you feel good about. Make your own decisions, it’s your life. You shouldn’t really have to care what others think as long as you’re having fun (well, be kind while having fun. I see and hear too many people ‘having fun’ because they just insulted someone, laughed at someone or called them a bitch or slut just for fun).
The second kind of negativity is being mean. It’s really not always something you can decide, have control over or immediately do something about, but if you really want to, believe me, you can change it. You can learn, failing doesn’t mean you’re a failure. But change for YOURSELF rather than other people. Change is only going to work when you’ve accepted yourself and when you know exactly what you want to change. Of course you can change for others as well, but make sure it’s for your own good first. And remember: acceptance is the key.
The thing that’s annoyed me the most over the past year is people being unnecessarily unkind. There are so many people thinking it’s cool to be rude when it’s really not. So many people’s friendships nowadays are basically based on insulting each other, whether they’re joking or not. I always see these posts on social media that go ‘if you don’t insult your best friend, is your friendship even real?’ and posts like those honestly annoy the crap out of me. It’s really not that cool is it? Friendships based on insults? Can’t we just be nice to each other? Just like friendships based on gossiping together. What will you do when there’s nothing to gossip about anymore? Do you trust your friend enough to tell them personal stuff when you have nothing to gossip about? I understand if you don’t when you gossip all the time. Will you get bored? The internet has this idea of what a friendship has to be like pushed inside our heads, and we’re using it without even properly thinking about it. If you do have a friendship like that and it makes you happy, then I’m happy for you. But please bear in mind that not everyone wants to be treated like that. I’m not here to tell you what you should and shouldn’t be like, I’m just trying to send a message. My intentions are never to offend or hurt anyone.
Also: ‘hating’ and strongly disliking people has apparently become mainstream? Do we even know the people we claim to hate? Do we know them enough to actually hate them? I know for a fact that loads of people don’t even know what the person they ‘hate’ really is like. Where did our passion go? Toleration? Must’ve faded along the way. In my opinion you’re so much more brave when you’re kind. It takes strength, especially on bad days. It’s SO easy to be mean to someone. Being kind is harder. And you honestly never know how close someone is to their edge. It’s so easy to push someone off with just one comment. They might go home feeling really bad for the rest of the day, maybe even a week. Please be kind and a little less judgmental guys, you never know how much someone might need it. Please think before you act. Even if you’re ‘just joking’, you’d be surprised by how mean some things can sound. Sometimes there’s truth behind jokes. I mean, compliments are so much nicer. Just like my Instagram bio says, kindness makes you the most beautiful person in the world. Beauty isn’t measured by appearance but by heart and soul. You’re not going to keep or save your friendship if you’re just pretty. We need that kind of positivity in the world. And it might make your own life even better as well. Just be the best version of yourself, never stop impressing people and never stop believing in yourself.